The title is a quote from Jess C. Scott and it sums this post up rather well.
Body image has been a rather fickle topic for me. I have never looked at myself and gone, I look good! Now this may sound arrogant and narcissistic but its healthy to be happy with your body image.
I always saw my face as being weird, growing up I always disliked it. I never made my dislike public or out loud, but in my head I used to think all sorts of bad things. I looked ugly, my head shape was odd. My hair was awful. However as I grew up and experimented with different looks I found that my face had matured into something good. I now love how my face looks. I think how stupid I was thinking my face was ugly, and why I should feel that way. My face was constructed this way and this is the way its meant to be and its beautiful!
My next battle was my body.
I always used to look at my body and think the same way I did about my face. Everything was proportioned wrong. I was too skinny, I was too white, my body was as flat as an ironing board and had no shape to it at all.
I still think some of those things today.
When I started Uni and became open, I experimented with my fashion and loved trying new looks and love trying today. However I quickly found myself being more and more critical of my body, to the point I would be looking down at my stomach every few minutes to make sure it was not protruding through my jumper, or if I wore something more figure hugging I would suck it in and make myself thinner, at the expense of comfort.
Saying it now sounds ridiculous but at the time its my rational way of getting through it. I started to realize this and think this has got to stop now.
I started to look at myself more in the mirror, something I would reject doing. I have now committed myself to trying to break into the professional cycling arena, so this means more working out and I also want to try swimming as a way of doing so, as its a really good way of exercising that exercise the body without putting strain on my knee which is still healing from overuse, and just less strain on all the joints.
I have already seen myself being more confident in my look, when it comes to my body, which I am very happy about.
I’m still on the journey and far from finished and fully body confident but this posts signposts an important shift in the right direction and I cannot be happier with the way its leading and I hope to update this post in a few months time with even more confidence!