What defines queer?

So a little while ago, I wrote a post about my dislike of the term ‘queer’ being used more and more in the LGBT community.

I said I would go and do my research and try and make myself understand the terminology more and I am pleased to say, I think I have a much better understanding. I read a lot of articles and this week stumbled across one about Tom Daley. He was opening up about his sexual preference and his sexuality. Many would assume well, you are gay, you are married to a guy, attracted to guys and are having a baby, with your husband. He declined and said, “Im not 100 gay and not 100 straight” and identified himself as queer.

Not going to judge or lie, but this did annoy mew slightly and my old mentality over the term creeped in again. However as I read further he explained it and actually doesn’t seem that confusing at all.

He goes on to say;

‘The word a lot of people are using now is queer, instead of labelling yourself as lesbian, gay or transsexual’

‘Queer is, like, a better word,” he said, adding that “it doesn’t define you, it’s questioning.”

“People say, ‘You like boys,’ but I’ve liked girls too. My generation shouldn’t feel the need to be labelled; we are too obsessed by gender’

This grabbed me.

His mentioning about the obsession with our generation to find a label in everything infuriates me as there’s a new label every year, even every month sometimes. Gender fluid, gay allys, straight ally’s, cis gender, trans, gay, bi, straight, queer, questioning, intersex. It really annoys me.

The people do not annoy me, let me make this clear, you should be able to be whoever the hell you want, and no one should stop you for being you, but the labels no. I do not like them.

I am gay, but as I’m under the ‘LGBTQQIP2SAA’ spectrum (Yes this is real, and yes its ridiculous!) I always get asked, what’s ‘transgender like?’ I DONT KNOW! IM NOT TRANSGENDER I AM ME!

Now I feel as If I’m deviating so I’m going to write a separate post alllll about that! However back to Toms explanation, it really opened my eyes to what the term Queer is all about.

The reasoning for it to exist is amazing, it makes one unifying word for anyone who’s underneath the spectrum of LGBT A-Z. It will not solve the problem of people putting you in the umbrella, but to be honest, I don’t think that will ever change. Humans are naturally curious and will always seek to ask another about someone’s life indirectly, as most people are generally interested but don’t have the courage to go that person directly.

So I am still uneasy of the word queer, as I still see it more as a negative word used in the past, however I am learning very quickly that this word isn’t all the bad connotations that I had imagined in my head and could actually be a great alternative to the ever growing LBGT acronym that is never ending these days and really is not sustainable for the future.

B xoxoxox


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