I have been informed, correct me if I am wrong but its mental health awareness week? I have seen a few posts on facebook about it but if it is or isn’t this post is just about that. Mental health.
Physically I am fine, but mentally I have felt weighted down and rather low for a few months now. I have always had a fluctuating mental health, with many changes in my life for the last two years It was too be expected and unusual if nothing happened! It reached a peak lately where just family life has become super hectic and theres a lot of strain coming from many facets of my life. Uni, family struggles, managing my business on top of that and also financial worries for the future. All of it come together and bashed me pretty hard and it hurt.
The biggest thing that got impacted was my naturual ability to be creative. I just haven’t had the motivation to do anything, design, cycle, blog or anything. My brain has been in a state of, what I would call a conscious coma. I am awake, alive, walking around and doing normal things, but my thinking, business and creative brain. Dead.
Now I would be able to create things, but for the sake of it. Thats not right. I have always been and will always be creative, but lately I haven’t felt like I have been truly creative just due to the strains on my mind, and my neglect on my part of my mental state of mind.
I would sit at my desk and wait for thing to flow. I would walk in the park, watch videos, just scribble on my iPad to try and ignite just something, but nothing. Brain dead.
However, a month ago, I decided to give my mind a brief break (Of course, only brief!) I started to do things again. Meet new people. Have fun, a laugh and giggle. Force myself back on the saddle and once I was on it, it was like I never left. Even my knee (Satan in body form) stayed ok and didn’t die on me when I got back into the cycling saddle!
I got my mojo back.
Now we are getting closer and closer to starting my third year of university. I feel myself fully starting to get back into my groove. I have even started doing new things, like drawing. I am a designer but drawing drawings I have never done, Im more of a minimal logo design kind of guy, web interfaces and interface design. However I have started to draw different logos, even finished Mickey Mouse today! Very impressed at my first attempt!
I can finally feel myself waking up from my conscious coma. Life still is difficult, the outside stimuli are still there, intensified in some areas. However I am trying to block them out, not let them get to me, and continue carving what I envision the future holds for me. I am going to continue doing that until, eventually, I would have built my house in the woods and brought my gun metal Tesla Model X and Office block in Central London! (Your boy has high hopes)
More coming soon peeps!