What you don’t know about me…

I have written a lot about my life since I started my blog over a year ago. This blog has documented my coming out, mental health struggles and the development of my business. So here’s a few things you still don’t know about me.

The first thing that you may not know is that I am incredibly insecure about most things. My body, relationships and most things that apply to life. I’m not sure why, its sort of always been there. I have always been insecure about my body and I even wrote a whole post about body confidence. I have not been the luckiest in love. The only people I’ve fully clicked with have lived in countries very far away from mine so distance has killed me. Others just haven’t worked out or turned into sour A Holes that just want one thing. So at the moment, I am content, well, with the person, but previous demons have haunted me greatly. Especially because I feel it going well, but the little nasty devils on my shoulder continue to fester it worries me. It will never work, what the hell does he see in you? Oh he will go and travel the world and leave you behind. All very dark and none of then exhibited in real life, but fester inside my mind.

Why? No clue, its just my mind. I try to control it with meditation (Which I have neglected as of late and really should start doing again!), and just speaking. I do lash out sometimes and it really annoys me.

So yeah, I don’t feel very confident in my body, even when I was at my best, which makes me sick when now I pine for that body back. My face is the only think I am ok with, apart from my droopy under chin bit and my jawline, isn’t the most defined but it works and its mine so its ok.

Another thing you may not know about me is I am petrified of Wasps. Hate them. NASTY! I love the environment which is another thing you may not about me, but the only thing Mother Nature created that I hate with all power invested in me are wasps. They do not die when they sting, they sting for no reason, compared to bees who sting only when they need too (never been stung by a bee) but die after. How tragic for something so cute! Wasps. Nope. I tried walking to my Nan’s door when I was younger and there was a nest by it, I never angered them or went near them, but low and behold they surround me and sting me. Horrid creatures.

Lastly, one thing you not know about me is I am also Petrified on dentists. Something probably quite generic like who likes the dentist (for those who do, freaks!) But no I am not just scared. I will sit and shake while waiting for the appointment, the mere thought of being in a dentists chair gives me the chills and a slight headache so that’s all I’m writing!

So thats all from me folks! Until next time. That was fun, there will prob be a part two to this!

B xoxox

Header Image from instagram.com/alex_n_j
Wasp Image from the website Unspash, user is Pawel Blazewicz
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