Me

Happy Pride Month!

This month will be a big one. 

Me and a friend intend to go to the pride celebrations in London this year, the first time I would go! I’m very excited as I’ve always wanted to check it out but always held back until now. 

I have planned this year for so long, had a list and order of what I wanted to do, and this will mark the last check box in my plan, and it will be I assume emotional to say the least! Not sad though, a mixture of happy, elated, excited for the future and what it holds, and relief and freedom. 

This isn’t a lengthy post but it’s more of an update on my life haha! I’m sure a post later this month will follow what we did and our thoughts on the pride festivities but should be fun!

Advertisements
Standard
Entrepreneur, Me

“Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content…”

The title of this post is a quote from an American Novellist called Louis D’Amour, I have to credit Locky for that one (You know who you are!) I was for once stuck on a title and he sorted it for me, couldn’t take credit for that haha!

Anyway to the main attraction of this post.

Do you like to explore? Have you ever gone out of your way to explore something new? Taste something new? Experience something new?
Well I hadn’t until recently.

If you didn’t know I recently got back from a trip to the US and my fave city ever New York City. This was my first trip alone and trip to United States since 2003 (A very long time ago). It was also the first time I’ve ever gone to New York. 

Just before my trip, I had been thinking of things to do for my birthday, and I was feeling spontaneous and wanted to do something different and go out out for my birthday, and not just the usual. The first step was ok I may go on holiday! I had some savings and I could afford it so why not! This was the first step to trying something new. Then the next question was where? I then consulted my bucket list of world locations. I wanted to travel to many places in Europe, Berlin, Budapest where I have family, Italy and Rome, Paris. Then it hit me, NEW YORK!

This scared me a little as not going to lie, this normally is not me. Being business minded and organised I like plans and ideas of what is happening in advance, so being so spontaneous about something as huge as a holiday to the US for a week on my jones was pretty big for me! 

Now this is where my constant changed. 

My constant in regards to birthdays was meeting with family and celebrate, which I will always do and always love, then meeting with friends which I will always do and always love. However before my 19th I had never really done anything for just me. This year was when that constant changed. I embarked on my trip abroad two weeks later, and succeeded. A whole week.  I tried new things, rode a heli, saw liberty, paid my respects at ground zero, and much much more, it was a jam packed week! 

However once I returned to London, my mental state of mind had changed.

Everything I was doing, back in my normal life, was just not fulfilling. I found my self bored at things that usually would be deemed ok! I wanted to go back, go to somewhere new, continue to break the constants in my life.

Try new foods, see new sights, smell new smells, experience many different cultures and ways of life. Then possibly bring them back or elements, and adopt them in my day to day life and make my life a little more interesting and organised.

Like the title states, don’t get stuck in the cycle of constant. I know I’ve given the example of trips, and trust me they cost money haha hence why after New York my next trips are very much conceptual right now! Even eating something new for lunch that you haven’t eaten before, or taking the bus instead of the tube if you have the time and take the scenic route. Instead of sitting indoors or going to the same park or Same place when you have free time, explore a new park and new places. I’ve explored many new places in London since I started uni that have been really cool and right on my doorstep, but never experienced before. 

All of these examples break the daily routine and cycle we sometimes find ourselves stuck in.

So go out and change something, try new things, experiment, you may find the grass is greener if you try something new rather than drain your normal activities of interest when you do them on a day to day basis. 

Brandon x x x

Standard
Business, Me

Managing Change.

I’ve experienced a great amount of change in my life. In terms of business and my personal life. Most notably this week as you could gather from my previous blog post (I urge to read if you feel confused at this point! Here is is!)

Now this is a short explanation and short piece of advice to help you cope with change. As change happens, it happens to everybody, and we need to know how to manage it as it can be overwhelming sometimes!

First step is adopt the thoughts to words mantra. This is something that undermines almost everything I do. Assess the size of the change, what has changed and what this change will mean for you, and write it down. This way helps you process it. You don’t need to write a dissertation on it, even some words on post it words is something, you are still putting your thoughts into words.

Then, reflect and think of the positives the change will bring. This helped me a lot. In terms of the recent changes in my life I thought of freedom, and the freedom of being me without having to hide away from people who may not know yet, which was more or less everybody I knew. So thinking if I did this change, or if this happened and when it happened, I thought freedom, and this made me feel a hell of a lot better about the new situation I was given! So I urge you to do the same! Think of the positives and stick to it. When theres more negatives coming then positives however, this is when I would start to evaluate is this change worth it? If its something you have done (Like me) then I would not bother with the change, however if its something out of your control then try and consult the source of the change and go that way. Otherwise if its out of your control the best thing to do is to go with it, still think of the positives as it will make you feel better inside.

Last but not least is to act normal, adopt the change, and carry on! This seems very simple and basic but trust me the amount of people who fail to get to the third stage is staggering. I’ve witnessed it many times before and this is how I’ve come to learn this way. Im no expert, or expert psychologist. I’ve done general psychology before but this by no means makes me an expert. However something I can tell you about this advice I’m giving you, is that it comes from past experience. Its happened, to me and people I know. Its something I’ve performed, done in real life, observed from others, and it works!

Don’t be scared of change, as change can be scary! Damn right it can be! But go with it. Change is healthy. Live life and never let anything hold you back. Again I’ll revert to a quote that I think would fit well here:

Don’t waste your life living someone else’s

Change, evolve, regenerate and grow. Its all part of your story. Don’t be afraid of it, and quite simply, carry on being awesome!

Brandon x x x 

Standard

This is a post I thought I could never write, and its been a long time coming, and well, staying true to the Thoughts to words mantra I’ve spoken about before.

The title of this post is a great quote from Author Ernest J. Gaines. It sums up my confusion in society and some peoples views. Why are we more comfortable, watching the news every single day and seeing men holding guns, bombs, weapons, in other words hatred and war, than seeing two people of the same sex holding hands, in other words, Love.

I am a relatively quiet person, and I have, until now, kept my identity and true self hidden away for almost 19 years. However as I’ve grown older, and hopefully more wiser, that ability to stay quiet and not be my true self, has slowly fallen away.

2016 was a big year for me. I had exposed my true identity for the first time, to someone I love dearly, and am very close too, and had been greeted with a response only she could give. Pure love.

This had given me so much confidence, and really not much has changed. We have the same banter. We have the same arguments, same jokes, same attitudes. The only thing has changed is that our bond is forever stronger.

In college I never felt that comfortable. Me being me wasn’t a comfortable thing for me, wasn’t in my comfort zone. I also wasn’t very very close to anyone during those two years. Not close enough to tell them my, what you could call ‘deepest, but not darkest, secret’.

So when I started University, I was relieved college was over. I felt a new found confidence in which I could enter with a clean slate and be my true self, without having to really come out to anyone.

My first year of Uni has been the best year of my life. I have gained some great new friends for life, who also, accept me fully and cast no judgement. I have transformed into such a different person, the way I conduct myself, the way I dress, my mindset on certain things, like who I am. All changed, and changed for the better. Im more open, in everything I do. I booked a holiday to the US, rather quickly and out the blue, because I could and I wanted to try something new. (And was financially semi ok haha not the case anymore 😦 ) I try bold colours in my fashion, like my iconic bright red chinos, that have proven to be rather divisive in terms of peoples opinion, but I love them so thats fine!

The last week, and more so very recently, whenever I decide to publish this post, was the final barrier to me embracing my true self, being broken. Im now fully open, truly happy and extremely proud of myself for the achievements the past year has brought.

If you are reading this, and feel like I did, please don’t feel closed and hide who you are. I used to feel the exact same way and it proved to be very unhealthy for my mental state of mind, and got me more down than up. Always feel free to contact me too I have a contact page here, so drop me a message and I’ll be more than happy to offer more personal advice.

Even writing this post. Exposing myself, breaking that barrier. I just feel so happy and free. This leads me onto my final quote that I found very recently:

“All of us who are openly gay are living and writing the history of our movement. We are no more – and no less – heroic than the suffragists and abolitionists of the 19th century; and the labor organizers, Freedom Riders, Stonewall demonstrators, and environmentalists of the 20th century. We are ordinary people, living our lives, and trying as civil-rights activist Dorothy Cotton said, to ‘fix what ain’t right’ in our society.”

Senator Tammy Baldwin

Im proud of who I am, proud of my achievements, proud of what I stand for, and most importantly, proud to be gay.

Brandon x x x

 

featured, Me

“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?”

Image
featured, Me

Thoughts to Words

I admit. I have been and I am one of those who like to bottle things up. I don’t often enough speak out my problems or annoyances and then, after  while, I implode. Often with emotion or just full on mental breakdown (Not a literal one haha I am completely sane I can promise 🙂 )

But this has always haunted me, until a wise person showed me and advised me something called Thoughts to words.

Everything changed after that.

Sounds slightly dramatic but every bit true. Simply writing out whats swirling in your head is equally if not more satisfying and helpful than venting to a poor friend. You are able to fully speak out your mind, and it makes you think as you write. Is this really what I’ve been worried about? Did it really get that bad? How did I leave this so late?

Writing out what you have on your mind really helps you, empty, clear up, and question those thoughts that are building. The tensions that you have seem to mellow as you begin to question the validity and usefulness of those tensions you have.

If that special someone never told me about thoughts to words. This Blog would have never existed. My diary, that no one really knows about, until now I guess, would have never been born. And my mind, would have been hurting a lot more than it does and would be hurting for a very different reason than it is now (If you wanted to know, I just had a cycle ride, and the sun is shining so slight migraine coming along!)

So whoever reads this. If you don’t already, I now advise you, just as that person advised me. Thoughts to words. Even if its post it notes, a diary like I have, a blog, even if no one reads it blog away! The positives and the relief you will feel will be like nothing you have felt before. The weight of the world and your thoughts would well and truly be lifted from your shoulders.

Never hold it in, let it out, and never let your thoughts get the best of you.

B x x x

Standard

Something I always hate to do.

It’s the single most hardest thing to do in life in my opinion. In business and personal contexts.

When you put your all into something, like a project or friendship or anything, and then it gets to the point of letting go, it can hard. Emotions are a complex thing, a thing that can’t be controlled no matter how hard you try.

Im a very emotional person. I like to put my 100% into everything I do, so when it comes to saying goodbye or letting go, I find it bloody hard. I get connected very easily and when I try to let go of things to try and move forward, it takes a lot from me to say goodbye and let go.

You will have to say goodbye to things close to heart through out life. Great projects, great business ideas. Great people. Amazing people.

It often hurts less when you let go, than trying to hold on

This is the quote I think of whenever I have to depart with anything thats close to me. its still hard and it takes its toll but it makes it a little easier at least.

So yeah. Letting go is hard. Letting go is really, really hard.

But I run by the theory of fate, and hope the things that I have to let go of now, will come back to me, and I will still get to find a way to see that project prosper somewhere else, see that idea grow, see that person again.

So never give up, letting go is the first step to moving forward. It isnt always a bad thing, it seems it but when you let go, those things usually find a way to find you again, thats what I believe, and will continue to believe.

B x x x

Me

Letting go.

Image