LGBT +, Me

Acceptance

This is a topic that I have been reading a lot about lately and made me inspired to write a post. Acceptance in any facet of life is important, but in the LGBT community, acceptance is such a huge part of every day life. Luckily, my mother and most of my family are so so accepting of the fact I am gay. It’s a privilege that they are, as many parents and families are not.

As a gay guy, I have not (touch wood) received much negative feedback, I get looks now and then and some people in my family are heavily negative but that only forms a small part of my every day life. Everyone in uni has embraced me for who I am, all my closest friends accept me for who I am and all in all I’m a very lucky guy indeed.

I often hear stories of people like me, who are not so lucky, and it hurts me so much that some have it easier than others, way easier. Being gay should not be something to be ashamed of but alas, some people are forced to crawl into the closet and stay there because their parents are not as accepting as some others.

I’m not a parent myself and probably wont be for a long while yet, but I have always been under the influence that parental love is unconditional and that your child, no matter who, what or what they identify as, are your child, and that love should be never changing. But alas, this isn’t the case for many many people.

This type of mindset from people that should be your rock and there for you no matter what will never fail to baffle me.

B xoxox

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Heaven

So as a continuation of my birthday, now that the family dinner was done, it was time for the friends plans!

We decided that for my birthday we would go to the gay nightclub heaven in London, by embankment. I love it there, the first time I went to heaven ever was my 18th birthday, when we went to heaven and it really was a messy night.

We proceed to get ready and everything is ready. One of our amazing friends Josh got us some VIP access so this made things eveeen better!

The night was amazing, the music was buzzing, we had a big group of multiple friendship groups coming together as one so the atmosphere was buzzing.

The best part of the VIP booth was that it has POPCORN! It wasn’t my fave which is sweet but it was still nice nonetheless! It was a small mezzanine area that overlooks the main room and then you exit and have access to both the rooms!

I have to say this 20th will be one I will remember for a very long time. It has been the best birthday celebration ever, with some of my best friends ever! It was just so nice to unwind after this difficult semester and really unleash ourselves and celebrate saying goodbye to the teenage era and hello to the new era I wrote about in my previous birthday post! (Promise this will be the last birthday post this year anyway!) and I have some amazing plans of what I want to conquer in my twenties and the journey starts now!

Over and out folks! Xox

B xox

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Seize the moment

So this is my first post birthday post that I have published, so should I write more like I am in my twenties? Hell no! I ain’t changing haha!

So back to the subject in hand. Something popped into my head today about moments. In University we are currently learning about the theory of moments and how we need to seize the moment more. When I think about it, I have always had an innate fear to go with my gut and just seize opportunities. However one thing I have learnt is that opportunities come and they also leave quite quickly and if they are not seized that could be all over.

It scares me as everyday I get many emails come into my inbox and I worry I may be missing opportunities. Opportunities come in all shapes and sizes, and come whenever they don’t wait for you to go looking, they just drop here there and everywhere.

The funny thing about opportunities is that they come around in very short succession, however if seized and taken advantage of, they can change the course of your life forever. Bumping into someone on the street, that someone could be the person you marry. The number that calls you without warning, could be a a person in need or someone coming to help you.

I Think this would be a good place to end this post, but the main message I’m trying to send through this post, is that opportunities should never be shrugged off. Seize every one of the opportunities that come your way.

Take care and take over the world people!

B xoxoxo

Image from https://www.instagram.com/blakecheekk/
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After Twenty Years, one could say I have blossomed!

So I have made it. I’m officially no longer a teenager, what a joyous day!

It’s strange when I look back on my life how much I have changed, and how much I haven’t in other aspects.

I was always a quiet child, and in some aspects still am that shy kid that I was all those years ago. However, during my twenty years of development, I have one by one broken down barriers in my life that have made me able to come out of my shell more and voice my voice more freely. I was always hiding something, hiding away so no one would suspect. It made me quiet and I hated it.

Now I’m happy being me and freely experiment and test boundaries to find myself and learn new things every day. Once upon a time I even found it hard to write down the phrase, ‘I’m Gay’. Now I would quite happily shout it from the rooftops and that’s me and it’s beautiful.

I have met and made friends with so many different people. My best friend Louise being the first, my best friend for life literally! Been my friend for 18 of the 20 years I have been alive.

My friends in school, uni, outside, everywhere. Such amazing and different people. All of which have carved their influence and helped me build the person that sits here writing this post now.

I’ve got into dating, had a relationship, broken up and moved on with my life and my business. I have nurtured my business to what it is now and on the cusp of debuting its first brand new social media sponsored marketing campaign. I am entering the last year of university and looking beyond uni to the big wide world ahead.

When I look back on my life, a lot has happened in the 20 short years I’ve been alive so far, makes me excited to see what I can squeeze into the next 20!

B xoxoxo

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My Biggest Failures.

Something that I have found to be quite taboo is the topic of failure. When I look back at my past, professionally and socially, I have had many failures. Everyone has, when someone says they have never failed at something, that in itself is their biggest failure. Denial.

I have been a victim of denial before, its a common thing. I denied my gayness for a long period of my life. I have denied being wrong many times when I clearly have been. I have denied taking sides in a debate when I should have really been a good leader and provide guidance. Everyone has a period of being denial. Some more than others but denial nonetheless.

I cannot really say there is one big failure in my life that supersedes all the other failures in my life. Professionally my biggest failure is biting off more than I can chew. When I launched my business I launched it with the Web design I do today, Public speaking segments and App development. All parts doing well and progressing well but still all being run by myself. This led me to being quite depressed and not liking my business that much and that Killed me. I have always been in such awe and happiness about my business so when I think about myself once hating my business it makes me very distressed. After I took some time out and realigned my focus, I decided to strip my business down to the bare bones and focused on the money maker for now, which was my web design services that I have now launched once again, called Serenity Web. I feel much better, in a much better position to put my all into this business and once its on its feet, move on to more projects I would love to work on.

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Personally I have also had many failures. Times where I have had to let go of people I have not wanted too. There have been times I have let go of amazing people just because of my own insecurity and have truly regretted it. The only things I could really do is try and rekindle those bonds and relationships but I class them as epic failures on my accord.

I wouldn’t class them as failures but personal failures could include family rifts. They were not my intention and not my fault, but it was my doing. Its a sticky grey area as this could be different with your definition of a failure. Personally, I wouldn’t class it as a failure but its still technically a failure that could have been executed better but the aftermath was out of my control. So technically it would not be classed as one.

Oh well, I’m rambling on but failure is something not to be ashamed of, but to embrace. Take it in your stride. If you are going through a war with your mind without battle scars, then have you really tried hard enough to win the war? That is my opinion. Failure is a life lesson to help you not repeat it in the future, this is what I have learnt in the last year and a half. I used to see failure as such a burden and personal strife. However I have come to realize its a tool for me to utilize to the fullest and help me carve my own destiny.

What do you think? What has been your biggest failure?

B xoxoxox

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“The human body is the best work of art.”

The title is a quote from Jess C. Scott and it sums this post up rather well.

Body image has been a rather fickle topic for me. I have never looked at myself and gone, I look good! Now this may sound arrogant and narcissistic but its healthy to be happy with your body image.

I always saw my face as being weird, growing up I always disliked it. I never made my dislike public or out loud, but in my head I used to think all sorts of bad things. I looked ugly, my head shape was odd. My hair was awful. However as I grew up and experimented with different looks I found that my face had matured into something good. I now love how my face looks. I think how stupid I was thinking my face was ugly, and why I should feel that way. My face was constructed this way and this is the way its meant to be and its beautiful!

My next battle was my body.

I always used to look at my body and think the same way I did about my face. Everything was proportioned wrong. I was too skinny, I was too white, my body was as flat as an ironing board and had no shape to it at all.

I still think some of those things today.

When I started Uni and became open, I experimented with my fashion and loved trying new looks and love trying today. However I quickly found  myself being more and more critical of my body, to the point I would be looking down at my stomach every few minutes to make sure it was not protruding through my jumper, or if I wore something more figure hugging I would suck it in and make myself thinner, at the expense of comfort.

Saying it now sounds ridiculous but at the time its my rational way of getting through it. I started to realize this and think this has got to stop now.

I started to look at myself more in the mirror, something I would reject doing. I have now committed myself to trying to break into the professional cycling arena, so this means more working out and I also want to try swimming as a way of doing so, as its a really good way of exercising that exercise the body without putting strain on my knee which is still healing from overuse, and just less strain on all the joints.

I have already seen myself being more confident in my look, when it comes to my body, which I am very happy about.

I’m still on the journey and far from finished and fully body confident but this posts signposts an important shift in the right direction and I cannot be happier with the way its leading and I hope to update this post in a few months time with even more confidence!

B xoxox

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