Finding the way to manage your mind.

So The mind is a tricky place. It’s such a subjective and complex being that there really isn’t a one shoe fits all approach when it comes to the mind.

My struggles with managing my mind have all been recorded on this blog, so its no mystery that my mind fluctuates, sometimes on its own and sometimes triggered from something in my life. Loss, uni, love. All of the triggers big and in turn triggering big waves in my mind, of both negativity and positivity.

So the question rose. How do we find a way to manage the mind?

Now to be honest with you, I have yet to find it. I think I have found a way that seems to work now so I am rolling with it but only time will tell if this is the method to finally take control of my emotion and my mental state of mind. So what is this mystical method that has allowed me to take back control.

I do not know. The method I am certain that I have no idea, and to be frank I don’t think there is a cohesive method. One thing that I have seen that came into my life recently was new friends. New people, new injections of opinions. I have still kept my original friendship groups and they will forever be close to me and will not change. However I also feel its healthy to network and form new friendship groups to keep your pool of knowledge fresh and constant.

I have been part of some great initiatives like Our Bright future and many others that I have also mentioned previously in other posts on my blog, but these all bring new people into my life that have given me new injections of opinion, knowledge and just kind and rewarding words. I find these forms of relationships incredibly beneficial to my mental state and I have found myself improve greatly after this.

Linked to this is the opposite in a way, but to let go and remove negativity from your life. I have recently had three job opportunities and interviews, of which I got all three, including the very highly regarded Mayors Entrepreneur Intern role which I am over the moon about. However at the time I had got into a heated conversation with my ex, who I messaged simply to say hi and catch up after seeing an old photo of us in my facebook memories. In turn I got a nasty response and the response and words used really hurt. Did this stop me getting the roles? No. I flipped it on its head and realised, this gave me the closure I needed. We ended so quickly and never really spoke and he never opened up even in our year long relationship. The reply showed his true colours and that’s what I needed to see. If you want to know more go to my previous post, the ghosts of the past.

So, what can you do? These things will not necessarily help you reading this, but I hope reading that I have got past some dark crap in my past, family splits due to my sexuality, falling in love with someone a million miles away from me, going through several spots of crap financials, two years on unemployment and job searching and amongst this running a business and juggling university work. The last two years have tested me and I can see the third will test me probably even more being the last year of uni, but I go into it a much more harder and self driven person than I did when I entered second year. I have a new fire, a new ‘method’ and hopefully a new sense of control over my mental state. Three new jobs and a great set of friends that I am happy to call friends.

Someone once told me that things may seem crap now, but things always seem to find their ways to fix themselves, even when it doesn’t even seem plausible.

B xoxox


Who would I invite to lunch?

I had an idea. Whilst waiting for my bus I was thinking of all the people I would love to invite over to lunch, some alive, some have past, and I thought I would share them with you, and see if you have other suggestions!

My first person who would be invited is Michael Jackson. I recently watched the controversial Michael Bashir documentary and watching it really made me feel so sorry for Jackson, who had dedicated his life to entertainment and music, only to be made a cheap laughing stock. I have so many questions to ask him. I loved watching his shows and performances, seeing him move and wonder how he came to creating that dance move. Also some of his lyrics are so deep hitting and have such depth to them, the likes of Give In To Me and Who is It. Dangerous being my favourite album, I would love to learn the true narrative of those songs from his words and his mind. He was such a creative in anything he did so I would love to find out the behind the scenes of his mind, and what made him do what he does.

He was also a very messed up person due to his non existent childhood and abuse from his father, so I would to explore more into that area of his mind and how the experience as a child impacted him today, and whether he could ever get over such experience.

Another person who would most certainly be at my table is the late great Marilyn Monroe. I love her and my mother loves her even more. I find her immense beauty and also her complex mind to be very inspiring and also captivating. She really ducked the trend of the stereotypical dumb blonde gimmick. Well she wasn’t blonde at all actually she was dark haired but even still, with her trademark bleach blonde locks, she outsmarted people and was an independent thinker in what she wanted to do. She fell in love and had a very turbulent relationship with the Whitehouse, having affairs with both Bobby Kennedy, the Presidents Brother, and also the President Himself, Mr John F Kennedy. I would love to ask how that relationship occurred and to be honest, why she did it. She knew he had a wife in the form of Jackie and why the brother too! Its quite a sticky topic but I still idolise her as one of the greats in fashion and empowerment.

Next, Mr Steve Jobs. People who know me are probably like finally he would definitely be on the list, and he certainly is! I am awestruck and inspired by his leadership and his ability to run what is now the largest company in the world. Also seemingly predict what people would want before they even knew what they wanted. That skill is such a big one for me that I would love to dig deeper into. I also loved his personal philosophy. His connection and fascination of the arts and religion, somehow mixing this odd mix of beliefs and merging them with technology, this is something that only Steve could do. Humanising technology. Making it less scary and destructive, to calm, user friendly and nice to use! A lot of my leadership techniques are adapted and inspired by the late Steve jobs so being able to talk to the man himself over lunch would be awesome! I think I would need a weekend instead of a lunch!

Madonna would most certainly be at my table. She is similar to Michael in many ways in terms of exploring her creative genius and her creative process when she makes her music. The meaning behind many of her songs. My favourite album of hers would be Ray of Light, so asking her a lot of questions about what the meaning is behind songs like ‘Frozen’ and ‘The Power of goodbye’. Her ability to break down walls and be a leader in women’s rights, an advocate for gay and LGBT rights in general and just an all round fighter and trend setter in an industry thats very much becoming very stagnant and standardised. She is also such a philanthropist, so I would love to delve deeper into that more unknown side of Madonna and really get under her skin on all these topics.

So, like most of my posts lately, I have so much more to say so there will be a part two coming your way very soon, but if you have some people in mind that you would invite over for dinner, put them in the comments!

Let’s start a conversation! Until next time folks!

B xoxox


What makes me happy?

So I’m running with this theme of happiness, its a good contrast with recent posts. So I was thinking, what makes me happy? In true ‘me’ fashion, here’s a breakdown! Also if anyone wants to make me happy, here’s a convenient list of things you could do!

One thing that makes me happy is nature. I love to work with the nature around me. In the summer time, I will always try and escape my campus building and walk across the road to Regents Park. I am very privileged to have this right on my doorstep as it makes study, work and general hanging out so much better. The sound of the leaves in the breeze with the water and the sunshine. Nothing better. The smell of freshly cut grass. Orgasmic. Come on Dior, Channel and all these high class luxury labels, where’s the cut grass scent gosh!

I will also be touching more on nature in my upcoming post, but its always helped feed my creativity. My most creative moments in life have come from my walks in the forest or laying down in a field basking in the sunshine. So, wanna make me happy? Take me to the park! (Just not in the winter or cold days please!)

Another thing that makes me happy is music! Music runs in my blood, I cannot go anywhere without music. I can’t sing, If I could I would! I just love listening to music and analysing the meaning of lyrics and really understanding the music and the layers behind the sound. Music can fuel so much of my mood, I have songs for sadness, love, partying, craziness, lazy times and just work or study music. My library is full from music way back in the 50s, to now. I prefer music from the 80s and 90s though. I find this era to be such a transcending era in music evolution. With the likes of the late Aretha Franklin, Micheal Jackson, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, the Spice Girls, and more. This era of music really shaped my understanding and views of music. Most of my modern day comparisons go back to this era of music.

The last thing that makes me happy in this post, is love! It’s unbeatable! Love from friends, family, that one person in your life. I have always had love from my friends and family, when I was a child, growing up and after I came out for the first time two years ago. I’m still working on the third. It came once and never came again, yet. I have high hopes though and the way my life is shaping I have no doubt in the world It will come again. I just find hatred to be so pointless and tedious. I have debates online all the time as to why people are so bitter and twisted. I am almost certain I will give up Instagram soon because I find it filled with hate, ignorance and vanity. Just a digital pool for people to show of things and prove to the world that they mean something. Well if you are trying so hard to prove it, most likely you haven’t got it. So thats why love makes me so happy. I will always have my family, my friends have always been there by my side (You know who you are! Xx) and the third is coming.

So thats what makes me happy. I’m a simple guy at heart although I make things rather complex a lot of the time!

I will probably make a part two as there’s a lot more that makes me happy but I don’t want this post to end up as long as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix as I’m half if not less interesting!

Until next time, more to come my lovelies!

B xoxox

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LGBT +, Me, Pride Inspirations

My Pride Inspirations: Tim Cook

It’s pride month! The weather in London is shining and apparently according to the news this morning its set to be shining for the whole of June (So everyone has the gays to thank for that! 😉 )

ANYWAY Let’s get down to the tea of this article!

I wanted throughout this month to share many of my, what I am calling Pride Inspirations. People who are supportive or part of the LGBT community and played a huge part in my development and growth as a person. So it seemed fitting to start this series of posts with a person very close my heart. Timothy Cook, CEO of Apple.

Apple has been a company close to me for as long as I can remember. Back in the days of Steve Jobs, I became fascinated with the world of technology and how to make it into a business model. Originally childhood Brandon wanted to go into biology, oh how much that career path has changed!

So when Steve died and Tim took the reigns, like most people I think, I was apprehensive. In comparison to Steves charisma he seemed dull and too corporate, and reports of Apples demise were aplenty .

Sometimes I agreed with them for the same reason that was being said by so many people at the time, he just could not do as good of a job as Steve. 8 Years on, and he has switched my mind so far from my original impression.

What I love about Tim is he defied the odds. Everyone was planning and betting on his downfall and the very shadow cast by his predecessor, was huge and impossible to fill. However he didn’t buckle under the pressure, he took that situation and began carving his own path and his own shadow. He didn’t intend and wasn’t going to fill the shadow cast by Steve, he cast Tim’s shadow and I am in awe of what he has achieved in doing so. He has always kept the DNA of Apple the same as it has always been, yet changed it so much to reflect his vision of what Apple should be doing and what Apple can do.

When he came out in 2014, this cemented my growing love for his leadership. He doesn’t have a pride flag over his leadership, he doesn’t shout from the rooftops that he’s a gay CEO, he just excels and does a great job, and this will reflect greatly on him in the years to come. He used his position as one of the most powerful CEOs in the world to his advantage and used it as a force for good, sending a powerful message to gay people across the world that its ok to be gay and its ok to just be yourself and there’s no wrong in that. Being who you are.

He continues to use his position to the advantage of others, actively standing up to the current president of the United States about his actions on Climate change and various other controversial deals. He stood up against the FBI for protecting user data and never buckled to the pressure that the worlds law authorities put on him and the tech industry about opening these encrypted systems and creating holes in the system that, if in the wrong hands, could lead to catastrophe for billions of people.

Lastly, he is just a great humble guy, stating that he will be donating 90% of his wealth to charities close to his heart, he’s never in the public eye in terms of his private life. He stays strictly dedicated to his position as CEO of the most valuable company in the world and has made it into such a powerful company, without losing track of what its stands for. Keeping the think different mantra that has kept it going for over 40 years.

Tim Cook, is and shall always be, a pride inspiration for myself, and I believe many many people around the world.

B xoxoxo

Business, Entrepreneur, Me

It kept adding to my excitement, my fire to get started.

I was unsure how to start this one but here goes. I have always looked at University as something to aspire to. Never have I ever thought about not going to University. I always viewed it as one of the pinnacle moments of my life, and I still do. The thought of going to University excited me and made me push through the crap and the darkness I experienced during college.

So then I fast forward to flicking through the prospectus and find Entrepreneurship. It intrigued me as I have never heard of such a course before, I was originally looking for Business Management. Thank goodness whatever was watching over me and made me look at Entrepreneurship as I think I would have become a drop out if I went with my original choice (Sorry Business Management Students xD). I immediately registered my interest, went to the open day very nervous but as soon as my then course leader Jane Chang started talking the nerves turned to excitement, hunger for the challenge. I knew immediately this course was built for me when I heard it was based on a learning by doing approach. I have always been a very physical and visual learner. I learn by doing things, experimenting, changing and giving something a try. If it failed I would evaluate, re think and try again. That was, is and always will be the most effective learning style for me personally. Its one of the main reasons I dabbled with business so early on in my career. I wanted to test things out in real life, not just absorb what someone wrote on a page, go out and have a taste of what they spoke about in books.


Ironically, as you read on, the amount of reading I do dramatically increases, but this is in line with more and more creative individuality and experiments in the real world with real business. Challenge.

During summer nothing much happened, I didn’t know what to expect on my first day, what we would do. Who I would meet. How they would be. Would they like me? Would it be like college and be fairly awkward? Would it be like what they explained at the open days? I guess through the summer I asked my self a lot of questions and looking back at that period, without realising I was mentally preparing myself for the immense paradigm shift that was ahead of me. Shift in the way I would work, understand the business world, interact with others, my mentality, my demeanour.

So, the day came. Walked in, went to my room and there was a circle of chairs (Theres a lot of circles in our learning so you better get used to it). I then saw a woman walk in, and started talking to her and we got on really well, as we still do being part of my team. Others started walking in and we spoke alot and the atmospher was great. It then got to the time we were meant to start and no teacher arrived, so we decided to go downstairs after a while and see what was going on. Turned out, we were reading the old schedule and the room had been changed, so me and my now collegue walked into the new room with around twenty three people in there, including our course leader and module leader. We managed to grab the last bit of the presentation that was being given but the late great Jeffrey Hynman, founder of Pret A Manger. Imagine that, a founder of such a big company like Pret, on our first day. This excited me greatly about the future we were going to have together. I then started to talk to other people and got on really well with them, I was surprised how well we got on and I’m glad we did now we are all such great friends two years on.

Once the talk from Jeffrey was over, we were then introduced to our first ever business challenge. On the course I do, we do many of these. Problems pitched to us by real life start up businesses, and we are tasked with solving the problems. Often the time we get given is twenty four hours, so you can understand the pressure and hands on approach of this course. It kept adding to my excitement, my fire to get started.


I’m much more me when I’m with you.

I love quotes, and this quote is not exception. I couldn’t find the person who wrote it but they summed up this post rather well in juts a few words, where as me who likes to write like a mad man would right a series of novels to say the same thing.

I’ve been very fortunate, after the turbulent summer, to be getting back into the swing of life, swing of goals, pursuing my passion. However there was something I wanted more than all of that, and that was someone.

I have found that someone.

I don’t even believe myself when I write those words. I have never been more happy, more free, more excited for life, more forward thinking, more passionate, then I am now. They make me laugh beyond belief and we disagree with a few things to do with politics and the iPhone/ Android debate, but I can live with that.

Although, in reality and the grand scheme of things, I haven’t known this person for years and years, it sure feels that way.

We click, we bond, we spark.

Its a wonderful feeling, a feeling I been wanting to feel for a long time.

The final piece of the puzzle to moving forward, has been completed by him, and I will forever be thankful.

As my past posts have shown I have been deeply down and I have been been happy in parts too, but now I feel complete. I feel like the last piece has been packed for a backpacking adventure, It’s been put in the car, we have closed the boot, turned on the engine and are ready to soar!

Where are we going, I don’t know, but all I know is that I would not want to go on the adventure with anyone else 🙂

B x x 🙂

My Diary


Now my last posts in my diary have been very negative and about the dark places I’ve been, let me tell you of the good times and how I feel now 🙂

Now as I said I’ve had ups in my life as well as downs, and these ups have been amazing. Ive met amazing people, some of them still with me today. These people have helped me grow into the person I am today, and helped me build my confidence to do things I have always wanted to do, even when times have been tough.

My amazing siblings, my sisters and brother, have all been so loving. I love being the oldest by a long shot, a 7 year gap between my oldest sister and an 18 year gap between my youngest most adorable brother! When my brother arrived, nearly two years ago now, it was so nice and he has developed and is developing into an amazing little boy indeed! Yes, I do get beaten up a lot but he’s cute so its fine! Thats what I’m there for!

Like all my sisters, he helped me grow into a much better person, and being older now, I can fully appreciate his little quirks and his growth step by step. It’s so heart warming to watch :).

Another up is leaving home in September. I am so so excited! I can’t wait for the independence, the learning, the freedom having my own place will give me. Free to build my business, bring friends over, and have a fun time without having to ‘schedule it in!’ haha!


Its also got a great view and will be newly built when I move in so again, its going to be great! Five of my closest friends are moving to the same building too, adding to the again very cool times we shall have ahead haha! Lots of fun, alcohol, and laughs!

It will be hard having to juggle rent with life and studies but its all part of learning and living in London, and everything I learn shall be kept for life, cooking, taking care of the place, rent, and more, all valuable skills for life ahead when I graduate and have to make a life for my own.

To say life ahead will be easy is codswallop (Haha always wanted to use that word at some point haha) but it will be challenging but a blast at the same time. You don’t get anything real from life without putting in the hard graft needed to get it. Some people appear to get what they want without having to put in hard work, but what they actually get isn’t real, its not hard earned, and to be honest, isn’t theirs.

Its important to look at life’s ups, as well as its downs, as the ups can be worth far more than the downs life throws at you. Keep going, never give up, and remember that luck will come your way, and life or fate will always give you something.

New post coming soon guys! Keep checkin’!!!


B x x x